[several minutes of running in silence]
I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…
Nope. Just not the same without Beyonce.
Ooh! That guy’s got a nice ass, lemme go run behind him.
[slowly but surely change lanes to the innermost lane behind Beautiful Butt Boy]
Crap. He runs too fast.
Before I know it, he’ll come up from behind me and be looking at MY ass.
Which would NOT be good.
As I’m fairly certain there’s a good amount of jiggling going on back there.
Which is WHY I’m running in the first place.
God, why did you have to make cheese so delicious?
So sinfully delicious??? You put crack in it, didn’t you?
[slowly but surely change lanes to the outer lane where I started out]
Mmmm. Cheese.
Ok. We’re here to focus.
Think about running….R-U-N-N-I-N-G.
Not smoked gouda.
Running.
Your
I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…
God, running is soooooooo boring.
Maybe if I pretend there’s a piece of cheese at the end of lap 5, I’ll get there fast--
OUCH! Diaphragm cramp!!
Friggin’ smoked gouda.
6 comments:
I love cheese. I want some cheese right now.
How can something made out of milk (blech) be so tasty?
perhaps you could devise some sort of gibbet-like contraption that you could attach to your shoulder and which would dangle a piece of gouda tantalisingly in front of you as you run. it might keep you going all day, if you don't mind looking like a freak...
mist - I am SO with you on that! Who knew spoiled, coagulated milk could be so delicious!
edvard - GENIUS! See!?! THIS, is why I blog! [Off in search of a stick and some string...]
There's something to that crack ingredient theory. I had to quit buying the stuff when one of my children refused to eat anything else. It's a sad day when you have to put a kid in Gouda detox.
catherine - MAN, that's rough!! I pity my future offspring.
Is it sad that I completely related this to my gym experience, only it was with "My Humps" and instead of cheese, the new Ben & Jerry's ridiculous Ice Cream "Americone Dream". Damn you Steven Colbert!
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