[several minutes of running in silence]
I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…
Nope. Just not the same without Beyonce.
Ooh! That guy’s got a nice ass, lemme go run behind him.
[slowly but surely change lanes to the innermost lane behind Beautiful Butt Boy]
Crap. He runs too fast.
Before I know it, he’ll come up from behind me and be looking at MY ass.
Which would NOT be good.
As I’m fairly certain there’s a good amount of jiggling going on back there.
Which is WHY I’m running in the first place.
God, why did you have to make cheese so delicious?
So sinfully delicious??? You put crack in it, didn’t you?
[slowly but surely change lanes to the outer lane where I started out]
Ok. We’re here to focus.
Think about running….R-U-N-N-I-N-G.
Not smoked gouda.
I don’t think you ready…for this jelly…
God, running is soooooooo boring.
Maybe if I pretend there’s a piece of cheese at the end of lap 5, I’ll get there fast--
OUCH! Diaphragm cramp!!
Friggin’ smoked gouda.