Monday, April 16, 2007

Our growing compendium of incidents involving automotive retardation...

Heretofore, it was thought, even proclaimed!, that I was a bad driver. I think it bears documenting here and now, that I am not alone in my vehicular ineptitude.

The Brit, using the precision and exactness acquired from years of pulling out of the same driveway every morning for five years, recently managed to scrape and then yank the rear bumper off of Vinja’s car with the front end of his Mini.

This would be considered a momentary lapse in a previously impeccable driving record…except he’d, just months before, careened right into the driveway gate, thus successfully and permanently dislocating its several rusted joints.


Prior to that, he’d destroyed the front bumper of our rental car while pulling out of the carport of our lodge in Namibia.


Prior to
that, he’d lurched headlong into a deer on the freeway.

I’m not saying I don’t deserve being mocked for cracking my driver’s side rearview mirror while pulling out of a parking garage or for denting the passenger side of my car with the driver’s side rearview mirror of another car while attempting to parallel park on a hill…but I’m just saying…

Take a bow with me, my dear Brit!

It’s a wonder either one of us manages to get out of the driveway most days.

7 comments:

Pendullum said...

Word to the wise...
When visiting La Cubina Gringa's family... take cabs...
or walk...

mist1 said...

I can't drive at all. Still, I drive better than I walk.

edvard moonke said...

you guys should move to italy, round about naples area, you'd fit right in...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Maybe you should hire a driver.

Or move to San Francisco, where all the cars have dings and broken appendages.

La Cubana Gringa said...

pendullum - ...Or hop in the car after we've successfully pulled out of the driveway. (Statistically, it's a good driving day when there have been no incidents of automotive retardation within 25 feet of the front door.)

mist - Try rollerblading. I find that it helps.

edvard - TWIST my arm, why don't you!!

heartinsf - Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone...we DO live in SF!! ;) Glad you liked all the Cuba stuff by the way!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Oops. I noticed that you lived in SF, but forgot in my frenzy of bad driver recollections.

Catherine said...

Dude. Even without The Brit, you are SOOO not alone in your vehicular ineptitude. Five wrecks in college. All while sober. And NOT sleep-deprived. That's all I have to say about that.