Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Top 10 Reasons Why Tulip Needs to Come Back to San Francisco PRONTO!

1) There’s still a little chocolate ice cream left at Ghirardelli Square and I am simply not capable of, absolutely not going to, largely unwilling to, probably not going to eat it all myself.

2) She left her sunglasses in my room. She needs to come pick those up.

3) SF’s foggy now. It was sunny when she was here. You do the math. Or the weather. Whatever.

4) She still has to sign my high school senior yearbook. (She was apparently too popular to sign it 12 years ago.)

5) I took her to Fisherman’s Wharf, despite the fact that she asked to be taken to see Fisherman’s Dwarf. We still have to find that dwarf.

6) There’s a straight, single man, somewhere in SF, with her name all over him. We just need to find him. And that might take a while.

7) Anyone who can help me find a bra that makes my A cups look like C cups should DEFINITELY live in the same city as me. Tulip, you need to move here and we need to get to work on finding pants that make my Size 8 ass look like a Size 4. Apurate, coñ
o!

8) Tulip took to Afrobrasilian Dance like she’d been doing it for two weeks straight. There are no Afrobrasilian dance classes in Orlando. Only in SF. Well, and Brasil, but they have a way higher crime rate than we do.

9) It just doesn’t seem fitting that such a great trip had a grand finale involving a cramped airplane seat in which space was diminished even further by a gargantuan woman who snored and drooled the entire flight back to Orlando.

10) I miss her already. :(

Oh...and 11) There are waaaaaay more tulips in SF than in Orlando.

2 comments:

Mr. Poopie said...

Aaawww . . . sounds like you girls had fun looking for a straight, afro-brazilian, chocolate ice cream eating dwarf who loves big asses and all.

I'll hold my breath for when you guys do solve that whole big ass thing. We could make some money you know?

Waspgoddess said...

It sounds like you had a great time (Mr Poopie put it perfectly...). But sometimes missing someone is one of life's greatest pleasures. Or is that just me being a fully fledged masochist?

In any case I have tagged you, like my "tagee", I thought it would be something fun and mindless for you to do to cheer you up. Come visit me for the details :)