Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Foolproof remedy for insomnia of the jetlagged variety

Just follow these 5 easy steps:

1)Lay down in your bed, with your most comfy jammies on, all room lights off and eyes closed

2) Become mindful of your breathing, relaaaaaaaaxing into each deep, slow breath...appreciate how with each one, your heart rate gently decelerates

3) Feel the weight of your body on your mattress…so much so that you’d swear you were paralyzed under your own exhausted weightiness

4) After 45 minutes, when you finally realize that this Mind Over Body crap isn’t going to work, climb up the stairs to the kitchen and open up a bottle of Argentinian red wine and drink roughly 1/3 of it

5) Nightie night

Oh. And I should probably tell you that there’s also a Step 6: Wake up after 45 minutes with a full bladder (thanks to all that wine) and repeat steps 1-5 all over again. Dammit.

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