“Oye, Culona, check out my back, I think there’s a cyst or something back there I need your opinion on.”  My Abuelito, El Exagerado, stood before me, fresh out of the shower, smelling like a rose.  (Literally.  He used my favorite rose soap.)  He was wearing a long t-shirt and, one would assume, some underwear.  “Mira, chica!” he insisted as he turned his back to me to facilitate the examination.
I leaned down and lifted up the bottom of his shirt.  Nothing but bare, 81-year-old ass crack staring back at me.  
El Exagerado, pleased with himself, erupted into a hearty laugh.  
Sheesh.  What an amateur my grandfather is!  If it were my brother that’d done that, he would have topped it off with a fart to my face.  
That’s right, the family is here for the holidays.  Let the merry making begin! 
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