Coño Carajo!

Why is it that Hispanic men feel so compelled to always name their first-born son after themselves? Why? For crying out loud, why? [yelp] [whimper] Machismo? Narcissism? Fear of assassination before the family name can be carried on any further? Whatever the reason, I say, it should cease! Really, now, it only leads to confusion. Like, say, mix ups in who gets who’s birthday cards, bills, porn magazines etc in the mail. Or who should answer when mother calls for said identically named person to come in from the playground for dinner. OR, worse yet…it leads to a sister sending an email intended for her brother to her father instead. (Just a hypothetical, ofcourse.)

Which leads me to another thing that really chaps my caudal end (which is big, so that’s a LOT of chapping)…the fact that once a message has been electronically sent, it cannot be unsent. The message, the words, the sarcasm that was intended to remain safely and privately between confidants gets put out there to echo dissonantly in the series of tubes that make up the internet. (Well, you know, hypothetically speaking.)

Dearest Brit, just so you know, there will be no sons named The Brit. (Sorry, but then again, you’re British anyway, so probably not afflicted with the ‘I-must-brand-my-son’ gene.) (Either way, just know it ain’t gonna happen.) ("Ethan" is a perfectly fine name for a first-born son, I say.)

Oh joy.