Monday, November 20, 2006

Lower your windows, Homeslice is back in town!

I’m proud to say, I arrived early at the airport today to pick Homeslice up. (Actually, his landing was delayed half an hour due to the thick fog and I arrived about five minutes after his original arrival time…but if we’re talking net time here, I was 25 minutes early.) (Shut up. I’m never early. Just let me have this.) So I spent a good portion of my lunch break today parked in my car, listening to NPR, waiting. I caught the tail end of Neal Conan’s “Talk of the Nation” segment and learned something that truly shocked me. Fox Corporation announced today that it was canceling its plans to publish a book and run an interview with OJ Simpson. Both the book and the interview would have been entitled “If I did it,” the idea being that in both, he’d give a hypothetical account on how he might have murdered his wife and her boyfriend, you know…if he were going to have done it. [If I were in a movie, and I were drinking coffee, this is the part of the movie where I would have spit out my mouthful of coffee in disbelief. But I was neither starring in a movie or drinking coffee…so I settled for waving my arms around animatedly.] I’m not sure what shocked me more…the fact that this concept even got off the shooting blocks and into a well-developed plan or the fact that Fox Corp, a network that never seems to miss an opportunity to stoop to newer and lower levels of immorality [Exhibit A: the show “Who wants to marry a millionaire?”], actually canned the whole thing! The former is, to say the least, a rather ill-conceived idea…and the latter is frankly, just refreshing. Apparently, Fox was getting so much friction about the whole thing from smaller affiliate stations that were planning to not air the special that Fox actually responded appropriately! What a concept! It’s not too often that I say this without disdain, but “Bravo, Fox!” Just as I was about to start foaming at the mouth about the fact that some thought this was perfectly good news-worthy journalism and how this is just poor, forgotten OJ’s way of getting back out there in the limelight…my phone rang. Homeslice had arrived. Woo hoo! I said a small prayer that every other network and publishing house follow Fox’s lead and refuse to put this crap out into the world…then off I went to collect my brother.

We had a lovely lunch at a restaurant near the house…I chose the lasagna, he chose the duck leg. (It’s a rare occasion, but today, he chose more wisely.) We caught up on the family opera (latest news, Daddio’s elopement off now, wedding back on), his recent work trips to Germany and Switzerland (in which he mostly learned how to say “May I have another beer?” in three different dialects of German), my work (the astoundingly endless amount still to be done in cancer research). He had me laughing to the point of a headache over his story of how he got robbed while in Mallorca a few years back by a German couple with a toddler and infant in tow. Too much catching up to do and not quite a long enough lunch break. As I drove him up to the house to drop him off and head back to work, he skillfully and triumphantly deployed a bouquet of aromas (one of which was surely the recently consumed duck confit) from the lower end of his alimentary canal…I lowered the car windows and thought to myself…ahh, it’s good to have my brother back. (Wait a minute…I have to smell him for a whole week??)

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