However, my morning was brightened just now when I opened my email and received word from my dear friends at the DIRECTOR’S OFFICE OF THE REAL CAMPO FREE INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS PRICE AWARD IN MADRID, SPAIN. I thought I only had eccentric billionaire business partners in NIGERIA, but apparently there are more! Why my NEW and improved close affiliates in MADRID chose to write an introductory email to me in all caps seemed a sweet, intoxicating mystery…until I read a little further and realized that my LUCKY WINNING TICKET NUMBER (WL/104) was selected in GAME NUMBER 925-43-06. Then I realized the importance of the capital letters…I’ve just won 550,000,000 Euros, so they were just excited for me. (In case you didn’t know, ALL CAPS = EXCITEMENT!!!, except when it means anger, and then ALL CAPS = SCREAMING!!! But I’ve just won tons of money, so I’m sure my friends aren’t upset with me. They're just EXCITED. Or maybe EXCITEDLY SCREAMING!!!) Either way, great news. Certainly cheered me up after my rude awakening. And the winnings will definitely come in handy for my work trip to DC, leaving tonight. What impeccable luck I have!
Skipping off to start my lucky day with some tea and a shower…
Homeslice made it safely back to Boston yesterday. (The house has since been adequately aired out.)